Link: http://www.bigvidpro.com/?v=VxCFWCOZQYOUgqap9nPrLw
Plot summary: The school is doing the play "Romeo & Juliet." Arnold lands the role as Romeo, so Helga will do anything to beat out the other girls to get the part of Juliet, so that she can kiss Arnold in the final scene.
Arnold and Helga never showed their love because they were too embarrased to do so, they both wanted to be together but because of their friends and their family they never were. And though they wanted to be together they never felt able to. Helga's family moves away after they try and change the neighborhood while Arnold's family trying to stop them. The fight goes on until Helga says she wants to mave to see Arnold stop suffering from the fight. While this isn't them killing themselves their love is ended as is the feud and it's because of their love. This is a very clear reference to Romeo and Juliet throughout the season.
Im going to give you a couple bullet points that will really help you improve your writing quality.
ReplyDeleteFirst i'd like to congratulate you, nice blog, it works but it falls disgustingly below my standards.
Now to critique
In lines 2-3 of paragraph one you refer to the love between Helga and Arnold as: Helga and Arnold "liked" each other. Let's grow up "liked" is a very weak word. I suggest you check Thesaurus.com for a more purposeful synonym.
Secondly, your paragraphs are very misshapen. What ever happened to Detail, commentary, commentary.
To finish it off your conclusion would be effective in some classrooms across the U.S but not this one. I don't know about you but this is Olympia High School 9th grade honors english. we try to do a little bit more with our conclusions besides tagging on a weak sentece at the ends of our paragraphs.
Exscuse any spelling or grammar errors i was rushing in my rage over this paragraph.